I hate my magazines and newspapers this time of year.

Just when I have time to actually read them all, and not get weeks behind, they turn into mirror thin replicas of their normal selves. Not just in thickness, but also in depth. For the end of every calendar year brings the onslaught of the annual “Best of” Lists!

Top this. Worst that. Best this. Headliner that. Plays of the year. News story of the year. Players of the year.

Can it be that our short term memory is really that….um, what was I going to ask? Assuming you are able to read, the odds are ridiculously high you were alive on January 1st. Therefore you probably were aware of what happened in the last 365 days. So really folks, we do need the media to remind us of what just occurred?

Inspired by irritation, I am going to fuel this hypocrisy conspiracy and provide you with my own Top 10 list. My list is focused on what I detest about lists. Which in a circular way becomes such an immature topic, you probably shouldn’t flatter me by reading it. But because my privacy invasion software allows me to perform unnerving functions, I will let you know now that I can see through your screen and indeed you are STILL reading this. So now you have to finish this blog and read my list. The pissing me off list…

“The Top 10 Reasons I Hate Top 10 Lists” List:

1. I have never made one.
2. I don’t need your list, I have Google.
3. Read enough of them and they all contradict one another.
4. I am convinced they were written in October.
5. Who does these rankings? The toothy fairy? Did you get a vote?
6. There isn’t instant replay to fix some of the dumber calls.
7. They give boring people something to grill you on at holiday socials.
8. By my analysis, Santa hasn’t made any freaking list since 1927. Did he stand the Tooth Fairy up?
9. I never finish them, so I am not finishing this list.
10. See #9.

Wake me when the news returns to my subscriptions!