Just when you thought there was nowhere else to go with the Coldplay Kiss Cam moment, one of the unwitting victims of the situation has struck back with a move bound to keep the internet bouncing.
Astronomer has hired Gwyneth Paltrow as their new temporary spokesperson.
As you probably know, Paltrow married Coldplay frontman Chris Martin from 2003 until their conscious uncoupling in 2014. Over a decade later, they are well-respected, having a very amicable split and a co-parenting approach.
The video from Astronomer (https://www.linkedin.com/posts/astronomer_thank-you-for-your-interest-in-astronomer-ugcPost-7354641783793856512-f9LM?utm_medium=ios_app&rcm=ACoAAAE9sRQBgJZdxq08JLiRKKLhXemQO3Jpd3c&utm_source=social_share_send&utm_campaign=copy_link) features Paltrow sitting at a desk and ready to answer key questions. Here is the transcript.
“Thank you for your interest in Astronomer. Hi, I’m Gwyneth Paltrow. I’ve been hired on a very temporary basis to speak on behalf of the 300‑plus employees at Astronomer. Astronomer has gotten a lot of questions over the last few days and they wanted me to answer the most common ones. Yes, Astronomer is the best place to run Apache Airflow, unifying the experience of running data, ML and AI pipelines at scale. We’ve been thrilled so many people have a newfound interest in data workflow automation. As for the other questions we’ve received? Yes, there is still room available at our Beyond Analytics event in September. We will now be returning to what we do best, delivering game‑changing results for our customers. Thank you for your interest in Astronomer.
According to Glamour Magazine’s Emily Tannenbaum, a contributing editor who covers Hollywood, television, movies, and pretty much anything you’re obsessing over on TikTok, Paltrow has now become the clear winner in this scandal.
In the video, hilariously, Paltrow did not, in fact, answer the most common questions, including “OMG! What the actual f?” and “How is your social media team holding up?” Instead, she explained that Astronomer is “the best place to run Apache Airflow,” a data workflow automation platform.
The big question on everyone’s minds is who created this stroke of genius. It is one thing for us to attribute the ability to turn content around quickly to technology, but the reality is that someone had to come up with this idea.
The internet is cheering for them to get a bonus, a raise, perhaps even a spontaneous Cannes Lion award for marketing genius. I know I applaud them.
I also applaud Paltrow and Martin. I suspect he was consulted to ensure alignment on her being parachuted into the situation. While the approach to the content probably made it easy to digest, I am sure that the threat of lawsuits by the former Astronomer CEO and their own famous breakup on their minds needed some consideration.
The other unwitting victims in this story are the Astronomer employees. Imagine waking up, and your company is the butt of jokes in every corner of the internet. Sports teams and the media (image below from The Guardian)are dining out on the situation by recreating the moment in their own way. Your social media searches are going through the roof, and everyone suddenly wants to chat with you about culture.
I hope they like, perhaps love, this move their company made and maybe even encouraged them to make friendly replies to questions they are being hit with. I can only imagine what will happen when interlopers decide to show up at their September business event. It’s going to happen, you know it.
Finally, to make this come full circle, when does the soon-to-be ex-wife of the now ex-CEO of Astronomer get to hang out with Gwyneth?