Tuesday, April 23

I have a confession. I succumbed. The 24 hours before panic beat me.

My speech sucks. Or the ideas are awful. I really am an impostor. Sometimes its one shot. Other times it’s a combination. These words seep into my consciousness and become a full fledge chant. They come out of nowhere. These voices that haunt me. But they come fast and furious. They used to defeat me. But then I learned. 

I had it beat for years. I mean I still get the 24 hour panic. It always comes after me the same way. Almost to the minute, one day before I have an important presentation a dose of panic sets in. 

Realax. Stick to the plan. Deal from strength. The approach you took when you were calm and thoughtful is the best approach. It’s like game planning. If you’re in the heat of a contest, the best approach is to go back to what you practiced. If you forget your lines when on stage, go back to rehearsal. Deal from strength. 

Today it hit me. I didn’t love my opening commentary for sponsorshipX Nashville. I told the team. They snickered and said you always feel this way. I tested out my material on them. I think they liked it. Who knows. Maybe I am hearing what I want to hear. 

But in the end I lost. I didn’t hold my ground. I retreated to my room and redrafted my message. Reloaded the script.Rewound  the tape. 
It feels better now. I think it’s more straightforward. A little less of a speechand lot more of a chat. 

So maybe I didn’t lose. Maybe the fact that it took such a loud clamour from the voices in my head validates the need for change. Maybe the real strength is knowing that sometimes the original approach doesn’t need scrutiny. I am good to go. 

Our conference kicks off tonight with a little networking reception on a rooftop. Rooftops are very big here in NashVegas!. Thankfully I won’t have the cloud of a fuzzy speech hanging over my head while I’m schmoozing. 

Not sure why I am so riled up about my opening comments. It’s not like I am on this enormous NFL Draft stage!